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Hi, this is Ray.

Let’s talk about something painful.

No, not my attempts at doing pull-ups after two years of skipping the gym. I mean that particular kind of pain you feel when learning something new, the mental version of doing push-ups while someone whispers, “You could just give up.”

That ache, that friction, that voice saying “this is too hard”… that’s effort. And it turns out, that pain isn’t a bug in the learning process. It’s the process.

Most of us grew up thinking that if learning feels easy, we’re doing it right. We love when things click quickly, when our brains feel smooth and frictionless. But the science says otherwise. When your brain feels like mush, when it’s struggling to hold on, that’s when real learning is happening.

Why Struggle Feels So Awful

Here’s the problem: your brain is lazy. And I say that with love.

Evolution designed it to save energy, not spend it. Every neuron that fires burns glucose, so your brain is constantly optimizing to do less. The moment you hit a hard problem, like math equations, foreign language grammar, or trying to assemble IKEA furniture without crying, your brain screams “danger!” and tries to retreat to something easier, like checking Instagram.

Neuroscientists have shown that when you wrestle with a difficult concept, your anterior cingulate cortex (the brain’s conflict monitor) lights up like a Christmas tree. It’s literally detecting “something’s wrong here” and pushing you to fix it. The discomfort is a feature, not a flaw. It means your brain is upgrading.

As Dr. Robert Bjork, the UCLA psychologist who coined the term “desirable difficulties,” explains, “Conditions of learning that make performance improve rapidly often fail to support long-term retention, whereas conditions that create difficulties and slow performance often produce more durable learning.” You can read more about his research on desirable difficulties here.

The Paradox of Productive Struggle

When you feel stupid while learning, it’s usually because your brain is building new connections between neurons. That’s called synaptic plasticity. Think of it like your brain doing squats. The first few reps hurt. But that’s exactly how strength grows.

In one Harvard study on cognitive effort, researchers found that the more participants struggled on complex problems, the more activity they showed in regions tied to memory and reasoning. Translation: struggling literally rewires your brain to handle more.

The mistake most learners make is mistaking performance for progress. Performance is how well you’re doing right now. Progress is how well you’ll remember it tomorrow. When things feel easy, performance is high but progress is low. When things feel hard, performance dips, but progress soars.

It’s like running on a treadmill with the incline turned up. It feels worse, but you’re actually going farther.

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Your Brain’s Two Modes of Learning

Neuroscientist Barbara Oakley, in her excellent book A Mind for Numbers, describes two main learning modes: focused and diffuse.

• The focused mode is what you use when you’re consciously concentrating, like solving an equation or reading a paragraph for the third time because you zoned out the first two.

• The diffuse mode kicks in when you relax or take breaks, like when ideas pop into your head in the shower or while you’re walking the dog.

Switching between these modes is essential. When you struggle in focused mode, you’re pushing your neural circuits to their limit. Then, when you rest, your brain’s diffuse mode steps in to connect the dots subconsciously. That’s why you often understand something only after you step away.

It’s not failure. It’s the cooldown part of your mental workout.

The “Desirable Difficulty” Playbook

So how do you actually use this science without losing your mind halfway through your next study session? Here are a few research-backed ways to make the pain productive:

1. Embrace the Struggle

When you hit a wall, don’t quit. A Stanford study on mindset found that students who viewed struggle as a natural part of learning performed better and persisted longer than those who saw it as failure. Every time you feel confused, your brain is literally stretching.

2. Mix Up Your Practice

Instead of drilling the same skill over and over, alternate between different types of problems or subjects. This is called interleaving, and it boosts retention because it forces your brain to constantly retrieve and reframe knowledge. It’s like sparring instead of shadowboxing, messy but more effective.

3. Test Yourself Early and Often

Quizzing yourself before you feel ready strengthens recall far more than passive review. Researchers at Purdue University found that retrieval practice (testing) can improve long-term retention by up to 50%. You don’t need fancy flashcards. A simple “What did I just learn?” out loud works wonders.

4. Stop Chasing Flow Too Soon

“Flow” feels amazing, that state where everything clicks and time disappears, but it only comes after you’ve wrestled with the hard stuff. You can’t skip the messy part and expect to hit flow instantly. The struggle is the warm-up. Flow is the reward.

5. Rest Like You Mean It

When you’re mentally drained, stop. Studies on mental fatigue and performance show that recovery is when your brain consolidates effort into growth. Sleep, walk, stretch, or just stare into space for a bit. It’s not wasted time, it’s part of learning.

Pain Is the Signal of Growth

I used to think I was bad at math because it felt hard. Then I realized it was hard because I was learning. The effort I once took as proof of weakness was actually proof of work.

If it feels uncomfortable, you’re probably doing it right. The same goes for language, piano, leadership, or public speaking. The burn is your neurons building a new future version of you.

Learning is a bit like lifting weights in the dark. You don’t see the progress immediately. But every time you push through the discomfort, your brain gets stronger, rep by rep.

So next time your head hurts while studying, take a deep breath and remind yourself: “Good. That means I’m growing.”

Stay curious,

Ray